/r/Jokes

A lawyer sits in the aisle seat on a plane next to two doctors and kicks off his shoes. The doctor in the middle seat says, "You know what, I'd really like a coke." The lawyer says, "I'll get it for you." He gets up and while he's gone, the middle doctor picks up one of the lawyer's shoes and spits in it. When the lawy…

When I first met my wife, she was dressed head to toe in muslin, and she smelled of beeswax and honey. I thought "she's a keeper" https://redd.it/1vvhtts @r_jokes

My grandma's final words before she died were "Pints! Litres! Gallons!" That spoke volumes https://redd.it/1vvnqc8 @r_jokes

Old Couple Mr Jones had a major heart attack and was being seen by his regular doctor after leaving the hospital. The doctor looked over his records checked his heart and then told him he'd like to talk to his wife who had been in the waiting room. Mr Jones went out to the waiting room and told her the doctor wanted to…

A puritan minded man is walking through the local park... When he says a young boy sitting on a bench eating a rather large bag of sweets. The man realises that he'd seen the boy there before eating sweets and drinking all sorts of sugary drinks, never being active or playing sports with the other boys his age. So the …